man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
