So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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