I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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