I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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