is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize