I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
