Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize