I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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