AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
