I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
