so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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