If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
