operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you mean i was at the winter classic?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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