Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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