trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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