Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
