there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
