i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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