i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Mom said you looked used
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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