She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
