I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
