it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
