she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
only you would photoshop your dick
No subtext here. People are naked.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
