Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
