The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
