i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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