Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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