Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
