yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
