Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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