some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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