I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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