You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Come see our sink grown plant.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
