Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
