if i died would you start the facebook group?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
