Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
