First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize