i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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