i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
