so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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