Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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