Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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