Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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