are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
