Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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