Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
