The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
