OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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