The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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