Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
