so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
