This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
