I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
