Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize