saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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