that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the night ended with taco bell and tears
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
