oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Panties = found
Randomize