PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
