some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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