We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize