There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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