Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
